Monday, September 25, 2006

I wandered lonely as a clod

The morning after I took these photographs, what should fall out of my copy of The Guardian but a giveaway wallchart called Clouds identifying the more common types of (surprise, surprise) cloud.

I think that these are altocumulus stratiformis from looking at the pictures but I suppose they could be stratocumulus lenticularis

That is the problem of all handbooks and guides; You need to be an expert in the field in the first place to be able to interpretate the photographs. An ex-neighbour of mine used to get over this by refering to all flowers as geraniums and all birds as pigeons or robins. 'If you say it firmly enough' he would say, 'No one questions you.'

But conferring the ability to be confused while attempting to identify clouds is not the best thing about my free wall chart. At the bottom of it, written in letters so tiny that you need an electron microscope to read it, are the words "with thanks to the Cloud Appreciation Society" and yes they have a website. Full of lovely photographs but also (may God have mercy on our souls) poetry featuring (I quote) "members’ and visitors’ poems that are cloud related".

Mind you I am feeling very let down. I was brought up on

Red sky at night,
Shepherd's delight.
Red sky in morning,
Shepherd's Warning.

but instead of the warm and balmy weather this verse makes it my right to enjoy, it is really pissing down with rain this morning. I feel really betrayed. To whom does one complain about this sort of thing? Can I sue? We expected better under New Labour.

Over the garden wall: Sunset
Over the garden wall: sunset originally uploaded by Colonel Blink

No comments: